creating unlikely advocates

Even in the midst of all the wedding planning, we have not lost sight of the fact that our home state of Maryland is one of the few states in the country where marriage equality still hangs in the balance. In the last week, my home state of Maine as well as the great state of Vermont signed marriage equality bills into law. Yet, if we went to one of those states and were legally married, Maryalnd wouldn’t recognize it.

Most of the guests at our wedding are heterosexual – in fact, we only have one other gay couple attending. Those folks take for granted the legal protections that marrying their partner of choice affords them. In fact, there are over a thousand legal protections automatically granted by state and federal governments the moment that a heterosexual couple ties the knot. Just a few of those include tax benefits, the right to visit an ill partner in the hospital, the rights to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, and community property ownership protections. For a full list and more information about the inequality that still exists, visit the Equality Maryland website.

Our wedding day is one of the few changes that we will have to ask our friends and family to reach out to legislators on our behalf. Though we don’t want our ceremony to become a stump speech, we have decided to have postcards printed with our name and picture, pre-addressed to our governor and printed with the following message.

Dear Governor O’Malley,

I am writing you in support of my friends. Although they cannot be legally married in their home state of Maryland, today I attended an intimate ceremony in which these two women pledged their lives to each other. I am pleased to be a part of their life together. My friends are among thousands of Marylanders who are waiting for their state to take action and provide legal status for their relationship. Despite the joy of their celebration today, they are still strangers under Maryland law. On this happy day, I ask you to work towards marriage equality for my friends.

Sincerely yours,
(your name)

We feel that this is an opportunity to softly encourage our friends and family to work towards a cause that’s important to us. This fight will be won in incremental steps, and educating your friends and family about the discrimination that same sex couples face is an essential part of what’s needed. Be bold, and do the same.

the flowers

Like everything else we’re planning, we wanted our flowers to be simple and classy. We had decided long ago to go with white orchids: I want to wear a few in my hair, and Jen recently decided on a flower lei to complete her look. Since we are only three weeks out from our big day, you can tell that I have left this important detail to the last minute.

I wanted to order our flowers online, but that’s a scary undertaking – I have sent flowers online before, with mixed results: sometimes they are too small, not what you expected, or the wrong color altogether. I carefully researched wholesale online florists, and came up with two possible options. The Grower’s Box and Fifty Flowers. Both sites have good prices for large quantities of multiple stems, and both feature pre-mixed “Wedding in a Box” kits that come with your choice of main flowers plus supporting cast members. Both sites require that wedding orders be placed at least 10 days in advance – actually, I was considering a pre-made bouquet from Fifty Flowers but apparently those need to be ordered about a month in advance.

It was a difficult choice, but I found some negative reviews of Fifty Flowers online so I decided to go with Grower’s Box. The prices at the Growers Box were slightly higher, but overall I felt more comfortable with their site and glowing customer testimonials. Grower’s Box prices include shipping, too, which is great for budgeting.

more on the freaking dress

So, it appears that not all bridal shop seamstresses are created equal. After purchasing my dress online, I took it to my local bridal shop to have it taken in. I guess I didn’t realize that I had to follow up with these people to make sure that they actually altered the dress in a way that would fit me.

I left my dress at the Columbia Bridal Boutique for a good five weeks, and was shocked to find out when I went to pick it up that the seamstress had apparently sewn the bodice on her Play-Skool sewing machine. Not only was it still too big, she hadn’t even removed the trimwork to take it in. Really, now, that job I could have done myself. To add insult to injury, the shop owner – who was clearly irritated that I hadn’t bought my dress there in the first place – gave me hell for not coming in wearing the proper undergarments. As if switching bras is going to make three cup sizes worth of difference? Apparently “professional” is somewhat of a moving target at the Columbia Bridal Boutique. Just in case you missed it, The Columbia Bridal Boutique is NOT recommended, ladies.

After that, I decided I better find someone less self-righteous to fix this mess. I visited the Kimberla’s Bridal Boutique in Culpeper, where store owner Kimberla had too many jobs lined up to take mine but gave me a few leads. Special thanks to her for helping me out in my time of need, dress purchase in her store or not.

The second seamstress said she could maybe fit me in between Revival on Friday night and her cousin’s first sermon on Saturday afternoon. I thought I better find another option, and fast. The third seamstress was sympathetic and horrified that a bridal shop would do such a butchery on my dress. I went to her little townhouse for a quick fitting and she assured me in her Indian lilt that she could fix it. The best part of all is that it would only cost me ... wait for it ... twenty-five dollars. Well, hallelujah, saints be praised. I damn near fell over in shock. There are really some things to love about small towns.

Back in two weeks to pick it up. Stay tuned.

the first dance

I doubt that we are alone in our anxiety about dancing that special first dance at our wedding. But, I daresay that we ARE the first same-sex couple that has taken dance lessons at the local Arthur Murray Dance Studio in our hometown. Last night was our first lesson, and I am delighted to report that everyone at the dance studio couldn’t have been sweeter to us. I let the receptionist know that we were two girls when I called to schedule, so our instructor, Diana, was all smiles and ready for us.

The biggest decision we had to make all night was which of us would dance the lead (typically the guy part) and which of us would follow (typically the girl part). Originally, I said I would lead but when I realized that only the follower gets to twirl around, I changed my mind. In our first lesson, we learned the basic step for the foxtrot and the rumba. We did bring a couple of songs with us, which apparently is a great idea if you are taking lessons for a specific occasion.

Our package includes private lessons as well as group lessons. One initial concern was that people often change partners during the group lessons – we didn’t want that to be uncomfortable for us or for others. The receptionist assured us that their clientele are “not drama queens,” and that she doubted anyone cared either way. So, I’ll keep you posted.

Polish up your dancing skills, people – we are going to tear up the floor!

appetizer tasting

I guess it seems like all we do lately is eat and drink, in preparation for the big day. Actually, that’s sort of the truth. Two weekends ago, we invited some friends over to try out some of the appetizers that we are considering serving for the wedding.

We hadn’t intended on preparing our own food; in fact, we tried to organize both a catered affair and an offsite dinner with poor results. We’ve contacted four caterers, none of whom are interested in s 30ish person gathering on Memorial Day weekend. I guess we are the small fish in town, so to speak. So, we decided that we could do some of the legwork ourselves and get tasty things from local stores. We started out at our local warehouse store, where you can buy nearly anything frozen and wrapped in puff pastry. But the choices weren’t exciting and, once you add in the $50 membership fee, the prices really aren’t that swell either.

Our next stop was the yuppie standby: Trader Joe’s. We love TJs for everything from frozen food to unusual boxed goods. It’s less stressful than the real grocery store and can get you over the midweek hump with just a few quick dinners. So, we scavenged the frozen food section and came up with six possible appetizers.

* Pastry Bites: Ham & Cheese Puff Pastry
* Pastry Bites: Feta & Caramelized Onion
* Raspberry & Brie Phyllo
* Chicken Won Tons
* Onion/Carrot Tempura Nests
* Lemongrass Chicken Stix

We asked each of our tasters to rate these items on a scale of 1 (awful) to 5 (super great!) for each of the following criteria:

* Appearance,
* Crispness,
* Savoriness, and
* Overall tastiness.

Our chef also rated them on ease of preparation. Finally, we evaluated the cost per piece (number of pieces in the package divided by the total cost). After much eating and talking, the clear winners and the appetizers we will be serving are the Raspberry & Brie Phyllo and the Feta & Caramelized Onion Pastry Bites. The brie was hands-down the clear winner, with the highest marks in 3 of the 5 categories. These results were surprising, because from the looks of the items on the package we thought that we were going to love the tempura nests (“mushy”) and the lemongrass chicken sticks (one taster said these “tasted like Lemon Pledge”).

Here’s the chart of our overall results. Special thanks to our volunteer tasters!

the shoe nightmare, continued

After about an hour of shopping online, I have three possible shoe candidates. These are NOT one of them, but I just had to share so others could experience the insanity. Really, who pays $549 for sandals?

http://couture.zappos.com/n/p/dp/49382250/c/180887/g/women/s/13.html

the shoe nightmare

It appears that I am now on the quest for something impossible. We are having our wedding outdoors, and all I really want is a pair of fancy flip flops. Nothing crazy. They need to be flat – heels are too difficult on the lawn – and I’d like something with just a little bling. Since the stores are bursting with spring shoes, I thought this would be a cinch. Yet I have now officially been to literally every shoe store in my mall (and it’s a pretty big mall), Target, Kohl’s, Rack Room, Maurice’s, Famous Footware, and a smattering of boutiques, all with no luck. I’ve found regular old beach sandals, about seven thousand styles of gladiator sandals (ew), strappy high heels, wedges, plain thongs, sports slides …. well, you get the picture. The one store that I thought might work for me doesn’t carry shoes in size 11. Of course.

So, the search continues. I think I will now try my friends at Zappos.com, an online shoe store with free shipping on all orders and also free shipping on returns. If you have any leads here, let me know!

dessert tasting, part 4

Finally, finally, I think we have narrowed it down to three delectable bite-size desserts to supplement the cake at our wedding. Good thing, because it’s only 5 weeks away now. We’ve gone round and round and tasted many things, but in the end our final three choices are: mini fruit tarts, mini chocolate mousse cups (these are Jen’s favorite) and mini cheesecakes, all from Whole Foods. Don’t they look yummy?


For the sake of simplicity, we are also going to order a few other appetizer trays from the same place so it’s easy to pick them up the day before. Whole Foods does a great job – most of their stuff looks like it’s been professionally catered – so hopefully it won’t be too obvious. My plan is to ply people with champagne first, then serve the food … because, by then, who will care?

the invites

We are making progress! Tonight, we ordered our invitations. Even though we went through a GLBT site (www.gayweddings.com), we were surprised to find that every step of the ordering process was totally, totally hetero. We even had to specify which line the bride’s and groom’s name were on. The site did have a disclaimer that the vendor they use had “typical” wedding wording, but we just thought that they could have done better. After all, we really try to spend our money with vendors that support our community.

Overall, we really thought that outvite.com had the best choices, but they were just so expensive that we went with the first site. Even so, who knew that 25 invitations would set you back $250? (And that’s half the price at outvite!) It appears that quantity is the key here – the more you buy, the less they are. Well, that’s what we get for wanting an intimate ceremony. We pay for the big boondoggle anyway.

Speaking of invitations, let me tell you that writing them is hard. First, you have to page through nearly a hundred font choices, ranging from ones that look like they have been written in crayon to fonts used by King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Then, you have to figure out what to say. And let me tell you, there are some truly abhorrent choices out there. Check these out:

The end of this millennium is only the start
of a lifetime of sharing the love in our hearts!
We invite you to be with us as we begin our new life together ….

- OR -

Pressing the vision into our hearts, the day we no longer live apart.
One love to share, a dream come true, the day we vow to say "I do"
You're invited to the wedding of ….

- OR -

A perfect shell is a gift from the sea
as beautiful and unique
as our love is meant to be
Please join us ….

-- and my personal favorite –

His love is the sunshine that keeps me warm
To me, she's the rainbow after the storm
His love gave me wings it has set me free
And wherever she is that's where I want to be

We invite you to be with us as we begin our new life together ….

Yuck! Are people really using these horrible verses?

PS

next post: champagne tasting!

the fitting

Several people have noted – and rightfully so – that I have fallen behind on my blogging in the last several weeks. Sorry, loyal followers! I’ve been on the road a bit for work and also on a painful family vacation, but now that I am home it’s time to buckle down on both the planning and the writing.

Last week, I took myself to our local bridal shop to have my dress altered. It’s sort of strange to walk into a bridal shop with a black dress that you bought on the internet; no one understands that YOU are actually the bride. But the elderly Italian seamstress that did my fitting was actually very nice. I must note: never in my life have I EVER had to have anything either a) shortened or b) taken in in the chest. But this dress needs to be both, so away to the bridal shop I went.

Not having spent much time in bridal shops, I have to say that this was not an experience that I would look forward to. While I was waiting for the seamstress to be ready, I browsed the racks of dresses and noticed that nearly all of them were stocked in the same two sizes: 6 and 8. What’s a non-six-or-eight to do? Guestimate? They did have a limited selection of plus-sized dresses in the back of the store, but most of those were stocked in a 16. I guess only three sizes of women shop for wedding dresses? Seems like a misogynistic joke to me. I am SO GLAD that I went the internet route.

The fitting, by the way, was relatively uneventful – though I did get a little nervous when she pulled out the scissors and started cutting the hem. Maybe that’s normal; I really don’t know. My dress wasn’t a huge investment but I could definitely see that you might freak out if you’d just dropped a grand or more on a dress and someone started cutting it right in front of your eyes. I bet she has some interesting stories to tell.

the linens

On the surface, finding ten matching tablecloths for a garden party wedding doesn’t seem like such a chore. After all, you can pretty much buy those at any department store, right? Well, I have spent the better part of the last two weeks COMPLETELY bogged down in tablecloth hell. Let me tell you a few things that I’ve learned.

First off, standard table linens to do not come in a 120” round size. This is the size you will need if you are using standing (“high top”)cocktail tables and you want the linens to touch the floor. Which you will, because rental tables are made out of industrial plywood can PVC pipe.

Second, you as just a regular old person cannot purchase from a restaurant linen vendor. Even if, like me, you are an event planner. Yeah, you have to actually be a restaurant.

Third, its possible to rent linens through the mail, which seems quite baffling to me. Apparently, it works something like this: you slap down your credit card and presto! a box of linens arrives in the mail. You use them and then ship them (dirty!) back to the vendor, who washes them and ships them out again to the next customer. I guess it’s sort of like Netflix but with much larger envelopes. But here’s the rub: you have to select your linens for this very special occasion based on one-inch square images on the internet. So, you’re not really sure what exactly you might be getting.

And finally, no matter what you think, fabric is expensive. You might think you could buy it cheaper and make them yourself, but, really, you can’t.

falling behind

I realized this week that we are only three months out from THE BIG DAY, and our planning seems to have stalled. As an event planner, you would think that I would have a good handle on all the things that still need to be done, but it’s all in my head because I just haven’t had time to make a list. We better get out butts in gear, I do think.

What we have done in the last several weeks is created a space plan for the actual ceremony itself. We’ve ordered tables and chairs, strung wire above the pool to hold paper lanterns, and purchased candles from every website imaginable. Gee, I guess we actually HAVE been getting things done. Thank goodness.

dessert tasting, part 3

It stands to reason that a post titled "Part 3" should come after two similarly-titled posts. But, well, we've been tasting wedding desserts since Christmas and this blog just doesn't go back that far. So here's a synopsis of what's happened so far:

1. Decided we didn't want a wedding cake (boring, and too traditional)

2. Learned it's hard to find a caterer who's interested in a 30-person, desserts-and-champagne reception on Memorial Day weekend.

3. Decided to have luscious mini desserts from a local bakery in lieu of a cake.

4. Spent an entire day dragging Kelly and Ron between Culpeper and Charlottesville to explore bakeries that we found on the internet. Found:

• One scary, rural bakery run by a god-fearing* Italian grandmother, who didn't understand why we were both getting married on the same day. (*I know this because there were Bible verses on the wall. Lots of them.)
  
• One small-town bakery that makes brownies and cookie squares in any type and flavor imaginable, but no cakes.
  
• One bakery that had practically nothing in the case. Strange. Didn't bother much further
  
• And one bakery with luscious pastries and cakes.
  

5. Ate samples from all these places, and made ourselves sick.

6. Decided, after all that, that the cake was really better after all.

7. Ordered a cake from Albemarle Baking Company. You can check them out online.

8. Still want to serve mini desserts, to go with the cake. Decided to get them from Whole Foods. Its just easier that way.


So, we've been eating sweets for, oh, two months now. NOT that I am complaining: truthfully, I love cake and desserts of all types. Jen, not so much, so I eat her share too sometimes. We've already tasted these goodies from Whole Foods:

• Mini key lime pie: nice and limey, but too dense and a little sandy. Not sure if this is how key lime pie is supposed to be, never having eaten one before. I'd vote no.
  
• Mini chocolate pie: too rich, like eating dark chocolate fudge. The mousse was better.
• Mini fruit tart: fresh fruit over a custard filling. Yum, good.
• Mini walnut pie of some sort: couldn't really figure this one out, but it was OK I suppose.
• Mini eclair: not too much flavor, but not offensive. A maybe.
  

Okay, now you're up-to-date. Last night, we tested out miniature chocolate mousse cups in chocolate shells, and mini cannoli from the Whole foods pastry shop. Success! Both were delicious, and we will add these to our list of possibilities.

delivery day

I got a shipping notification from UPS this morning that my dress is on the truck for delivery. So, hopefully tonight I will know whether I am still in the market for a dress or whether I can move onto the next stages of planning. Stay tuned …

the declaration

After yesterday's diatribe, I thought maybe I had better keep it short today. While websurfing (is that one word or two?) offbeat bridal sites, I discovered the BEST marriage declaration. I think we'll ask our officiant to pronounce us wed with the following:

“By the power unlawfully seized by me in defiance of the State of Virginia's homophobic laws prohibiting marriage equality, it is my great pleasure to declare you MARRIED!"

Whatcha think? Special thanks to the Offbeat Bride website for ideas and inspiration.

the legal thing

Besides the normal sort of wedding questions, the one thing that people keep asking us over and over again is, will it be legal in Virginia? The answer, sadly, is no.

Virginia is an extraordinary inhospitable state for gays and lesbians, with blatant anti-gay laws on the books. More than the so-called "traditional" marriage statutes recently adopted by a number of states nationwide, Virginia's anti-gay statute is unusually -- and deliberately -- broad, purposefully written to prevent unmarried persons of the same sex from entering into any "union, partnership or other legal status similar to marriage."

At its broadest, this law could be twisted to prevent two people of the same gender from owning property or drafting power of attorney protections: the legal documents that allow us, for example, to visit each other in the hospital. The legal ramifications are still being forged, but many gay couples have decided that they don't want to spend their time living in fear, and are leaving the state. (Check out an article in the Washington Post about the gay exodus). A shame, really, because gays and lesbians contribute disproportionately to the state's tax base and I hear they could really use the revenue.

So, why should you care, if you're not gay? Well, the Virginia vendetta is not simply limited to gays and lesbians: the law could also be used to prevent, for example, me from purchasing property with a friend or one of Jen's sisters to start a business. Is it just me, or does that seem a bit intrusive?

There are currently only two states provide for full-fledged gay marriage: Massachusetts and Connecticut. The liberal Northeast, god bless 'em. (I would move to either state TOMORROW if I could convince Jen.) In addition, though New York does not issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples they do recognize gay marriages performed in other states. California, sadly, recently overturned the state's same-sex marriage law with the hard-fought Proposition 8 ballot measure in the November 2008 election. Although the disgusting "Yes on 8" campaign deliberately spread misinfomration and employed old-school scare tactics reminiscent of the McCarthy era, most analysts agree that the ballot measure passed due to the unusually high turnout of African American voters. Among Democrats, black voters are disproportionately anti-gay marriage. Ironically, all those people who voted for Obama's change campaign also set back the clocks for same-sex couples in California.

Other than the four states mentioned above, a few others also offer legal benefits for same-sex couples either in whole or in part: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, New Jersey, Oregon, Washington, and the District of Columbia. (If you're interested in learning more, visit HRC's page on marriage and relationship recognition.) Our home state of Maryland is one of only a handful of states with no definitive statute on the books, either preventing or legalizing gay marriage. In 2006, a long and painful Supreme Court case decided that Maryland could not recognize a civil union performed in another state. So, now the issue is in the hands of our legislature. For such a reliably blue state, this is extremely disheartening. We may be the only state in the country with Democratic majorities at all levels of state government who has not yet addressed this issue. I'm still trying to decide whether this is because our elected officials are impotent or ignorant. Or both?

But back to the question at hand: no, our union would not be legal in Virginia. But it wouldn't be in Maryland either, at this point, so we feel that we can celebrate wherever we damn well please. And I guess I want to raise the question of my straight, married friends: did you only get married for the legal status? I mean, did you look into your lover's eyes and say, "Yes, I'll marry you because I really want to have access to your social security benefits when you tap out"? Come on. The legal protection is nice (and LONG overdue for same-sex couples, I might add), but the real purpose of a wedding is to share your joy and commitment with family and friends.

So, that's what we'll be doing on May 23rd. It's just a bonus that we get to flip bigoted ol' Virginia the bird at the same time.

shipping notification!

Got it in my inbox: my dress will arrive on Wednesday, February 4. Whew, that's one thing off my plate. Everyone seems to want to know: what dress did I pick? Well, I'm not letting that cat out of the bag until I know whether it fits. So, stay tuned. I will tell you that it's not white and it's not that hideous green goth number in yesterday's post.

Several people have asked me what my partner will be wearing. Well, that seems to be the million-dollar question these days. I think she has a rough idea in her mind, but nothing has really turned up quite yet. She's threatening to wear shorts and an Old Navy t-shirt, which is NOT OKAY (just so you know, honey). Maybe some of my readers will help her with suggestions? I'm hoping that her well-dressed sister Kelly will take her to the mall this weekend and help her out. We've talked about having something custom made, but I think you have to actually have an idea of what you want before you show up at the tailor. Maybe I'm wrong about that; I've never actually had anything custom made before. So, we'll see ...

the dress

EEK – I ordered my dress today. I should have started this blog two months ago, so you could have journeyed with me through the hell that is bridal gown shopping. But, lucky reader, you have caught me on the upswing, wedding attire already decided. I think that’s better for both of us.

Volumes have been written about this moxie-building rite of passage for the modern bride. The options are literally endless – so much so, in fact, that entire periodicals are published several times each year to showcase the latest and greatest in bridal fashions. On top of these new and noteworthy styles, there are also thousands (millions, even?) of other styles that have been created over the years. You can get a white gown in pretty much any style you can imagine. And, some you probably couldn’t:

WHAT was she thinking?

I guess the point of all of this is to day that the choices are endless. But ours is a non-traditional sort of gig, so I’m not even limited by the expectation that I’ll be wearing white. I toyed with it for a while simply because it was a good place to start. Truthfully, it’s difficult to shop for a gown when you have unlimited choices. Just anyone who’s ever worked for me, I’m a bottom line sort of gal. I only want three choices for any decision; more than that and I lose interest or get overwhelmed by the tiny differences between them. So, shopping for a dress with virtually no limitations is really just too much for me.

I started my search on the internet, and was surprised to find that there really aren’t too many resources out there for plus-size brides. I’m not a small gal, so finding a style that I liked that came in my size was actually pretty difficult. Sure, there’s always Bride-Mart (that’s David’s Bridal to you), but the thought of stripping down in front of some sleazy used-car-salesman sales associate just put me to shivers.

So, I stripped down in the comfort of my own home and had my measurements taken, then decided to shop online. For you rookies out there, the measuring step is REALLY IMPORTANT. A dirty little secret in the wedding fashion industry is that these gowns run small, sometimes by up to two sizes. So, on your special day, you end up feeling like a fat cow. Nice. My dress should arrive in 7-10 business days, so I’ll let you know how it fits. I’m planning on some alterations, but the measurement chart said it would be roughly my size.

In my search, I found some great resources for plus-size brides:

• I found my dress at Sydney’s Closet
• Igigi
  
• House of Brides
• and, of course, David’s Bridal plus collection
  

I’ll post some additional resources later re: undergarments and other odds and ends.

114 days and counting

This is the story of two little girls getting hitched ... and I mean, to each other. Lesbian and gay weddings are hardly news these days: though many Americans are conflicted on the idea of gay marriage, same-sex couples are flocking to the chapel (or synagogue, or non-denominational house of worship, or Vegas drive-thru, or handfasting ceremony, or ...) in record numbers. Legal or not, we're ready to proclaim our committment to one another.

Despite middle America's queasiness, Hollywood and wedding vendors are on board. There are literally hundreds of websites out there to assist us with this quest, and everybody wants our money. And why not? Our demographic is an attractive one: we're highly educated, dual-income households with few dependents and loads of disposable income. Vendors that have historically catered to straight couples have found that they can cash in on the gay dollar without much extra effort. In a bad economy, we're the wedding industry's white whale.

-- but more on that later --

As I start this blog I wanted to introduce us by saying that, after more than six years together, my partner and I have decided to board the wedding train. We currently live in Maryland (both transplants from colder states that usually vote Democratic), but we've selected a lovely little town in Virginia to host our wedding festivities. Culpeper is a beautiful, Civil War era town with a charming main street brimming with luscious shops and gourmet restaurants. It's also home to one of Jen's four sisters, with whose family we spend a lot of time. So it wasn't much of a leap to choose their beautiful home as our wedding location.

Although we embrace Northern Virigina as part of the DC metropolitan area, most of us liberals find the rest of Virginia ... well, sort of .... scary. It's kind of like the back of your coat closet: there are things in there you haven't worn in 10 years, and you keep thinking of throwing out. Having spent most of my adult life in urban areas, planning our wedding in the country has opened my eyes to bigotry and homophobia that I had forgotten existed. This blog is partly a reflection on that, and partly just a chronicle of the zaniness involved in planning any other American wedding.


Oh, and PS: In the spirit of full disclosure, I feel that I should mention that I am an event planner by trade. Yes, I spend my days babysitting egomaniacs and b-list celebrities, and I'm really pretty good at it. But planning AN event and planning YOUR event are two different things. So, let's see how this goes.