Even in the midst of all the wedding planning, we have not lost sight of the fact that our home state of Maryland is one of the few states in the country where marriage equality still hangs in the balance. In the last week, my home state of Maine as well as the great state of Vermont signed marriage equality bills into law. Yet, if we went to one of those states and were legally married, Maryalnd wouldn’t recognize it.
Most of the guests at our wedding are heterosexual – in fact, we only have one other gay couple attending. Those folks take for granted the legal protections that marrying their partner of choice affords them. In fact, there are over a thousand legal protections automatically granted by state and federal governments the moment that a heterosexual couple ties the knot. Just a few of those include tax benefits, the right to visit an ill partner in the hospital, the rights to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, and community property ownership protections. For a full list and more information about the inequality that still exists, visit the Equality Maryland website.
Our wedding day is one of the few changes that we will have to ask our friends and family to reach out to legislators on our behalf. Though we don’t want our ceremony to become a stump speech, we have decided to have postcards printed with our name and picture, pre-addressed to our governor and printed with the following message.
Dear Governor O’Malley,
I am writing you in support of my friends. Although they cannot be legally married in their home state of Maryland, today I attended an intimate ceremony in which these two women pledged their lives to each other. I am pleased to be a part of their life together. My friends are among thousands of Marylanders who are waiting for their state to take action and provide legal status for their relationship. Despite the joy of their celebration today, they are still strangers under Maryland law. On this happy day, I ask you to work towards marriage equality for my friends.
Sincerely yours,
(your name)
We feel that this is an opportunity to softly encourage our friends and family to work towards a cause that’s important to us. This fight will be won in incremental steps, and educating your friends and family about the discrimination that same sex couples face is an essential part of what’s needed. Be bold, and do the same.
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On Memorial Day weekend, my partner and I will be married in a private ceremony in Culpeper, Virginia: a charming hamlet of 42,000, nestled in the heart of Virginia wine country. We wanted an intimate ceremony with family and close friends, so we chose the home of people who mean a lot to us. There's just one little problem with our wedding location: it's located smack in the geographic center of a decidedly red state. Read on for the true tale of planning a lesbian wedding in rural America.
Hey...so long as you don't shove it down my throat...you're OK with me....!
ReplyDeleteI am neither for nor against Lesbians or gays...BTW...I am straight...but as long as you don't try to impose your values on me and my family...then it's OK...!